Prayer on Aging

A SEVENTEENTH-CENTURY NUN'S PRAYER ON AGING

All the passages below are taken from George Sweeting’s book
“The Joy of Successful Aging” published in 2002.


Lord, Thou knowest better than myself
Know that I am growing older and will someday be old.
Keep me from the fatal habit of thinking I must say
something on every subject and on every occasion.
Release me from the craving to straighten out everybody's affairs.
Make me thoughtful, but not moody; helpful, but not bossy.

With my vast store of wisdom it seems a pity not to use it all,
But Thou knowest, 0 Lord, that I want a few friends at the end.
Keep my mind free from the recital of endless details;
Give me wings to get to the point,
Seal my lips on my aches and pains,
They are increasing, and love of rehearsing
them is becoming sweeter as the days go by.

I dare not ask for grace enough to enjoy the tales of others' pains,
But help me to endure them with patience.
I dare not ask for an improved memory,
But for a growing humility and a lessening cocksureness
when my memory seems to clash with the memories of others.
Teach me the glorious lesson that occasionally I may be mistaken.

Keep me reasonably sweet; I do not want to be a saint;
Some of them are so hard to live with-
But a sour old person is one of the crowning works of the devil.
Give me the ability to see good things in unexpected places,
and talents in unexpected people.
And give me, O Lord, the grace to tell them so.
Amen.

Happy Birthday, Por Por!

My first, albeit belated, and shared birthday gift from Grandson.

So he didn't buy it.

So he didn't choose it.

So he didn't know he had given me a gift.

But I know, and that's all that matters. Especially to one who has a really serious case of Doting Grandma Syndrome.

Snow Skin Moon Cakes

Since it was my first attempt at making moon cakes, I decided to play safe and start off with the no-bake version.

I really like this kind of moon cakes but they are so very hard to come by nowadays. Most probably because of the need for refrigeration which leads to higher cost.

Anyway, here is my first batch of moon cakes with two kinds of filling: Lin Yong and Tau Sar.

Next time I've gotta be less heavy handed with the colouring and try to make the skin thinner.

The Wheels of Life

...go round and round. That sounds so Buddhist and karma-ish but I am actually commenting on this little illustration that was posted by one of my friends on Facebook today. 

It brought to mind my late mother-in-law's declaration that it is of utmost importance for a person to be able to eat and to walk in old age. Only then would a long life be meaningful. 

She used to be a nurse and so she had seen how important it is to be able to eat in order to give one strength and energy to survive...and to walk, which translates to independence. 

To live wheel-ey well in your old age you should, for a start, make sure you take good care of your teeth 'cos that will enable you to eat well. That, in turn, will give you the energy to avoid the two sets of wheels found in the bottom centre two squares of the illustration above. 

Unfortunately for my MIL, she could not avoid those two sets of wheels but it was not because she did not eat well. Even when she was ill she would force herself to eat in order to have strength for the day but towards the end of her illness, she was not able to walk as a result of a collapsed spinal column due to osteoporosis. 

We eventually bought her a wheel-chair but she passed away very soon after. She only used it for a very, very short period of time; barely a month if I am not mistaken. She was an independent and self-reliant person and losing her independence broke her spirit.

Some of us may avoid those two sets of wheels found in the bottom two squares of the illustration above but no one can avoid the last set of wheels; none except those who are ready when Jesus returns for His own. 

Right Now

...I feel like a rubber band being stretched. Not me per se, but my faith. 

My only assurance is the presence of God and His promise.

A word in season

Happy Moments, Praise God

Difficult Moments, Seek God

Quiet Moments, Worship God

Painful Moments, Trust God

Every Moment, Thank God

Update: A fresh encouragement came through just a minute ago. 

2 Chronicles 16:9, NIV

For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth 

to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.

Thank you, Lord!

Raya Break 2013

I had the loveliest and most wonderful Raya break ever. 

We didn't go anywhere at all. Most of my time was spent at home, doing the things that I don't have the time and energy to do on normal days. I can totally understand why people look forward to retirement.

I managed to cook two meals, one a nondescript meal to eat with rice and the other which is spaghetti in beef bolognese sauce. Hubby loved the spaghetti. His only complaint, "Why no cheese?" His absent-minded cook forgot all about the cheese. :(

Spaghetti in Beef Bolognese Sauce

And I even drummed up enough enthusiasm to bake a Carrot Walnut Cake with Lemon Cream Cheese Frosting for my birthday. That's my 4th birthday cake this year. 

A healthy cake full of carrots and walnuts and covered
with the most delicious lemon cream cheese frosting

I love birthdays and birthday cakes. No birthday is complete without a birthday cake and I cannot have enough of birthday cakes. Sometimes I think that I am worse than a kid. Could this be a sign of second childhood?

Anyway, back to my lack of enthusiasm for cooking. It's the thought of waking up early to go to the market before going to the office that is the greatest demotivating factor whenever I start toying with the idea of cooking anything. 

And the thought of all the washing up would totally squelch whatever spark of interest that remains. It's not that I don't like to cook. I enjoy cooking but not slogging for two hours or more after a tired day to serve a meal that is eaten in 15 minutes. That doesn't make sense at all and thank God, Hubby understands. 

But on holidays I have ample time to go marketing, do all the preparation and cooking as well as the washing up without running out of time or energy. Since it is difficult to cook such small portions for two persons I ended up cooking more and freezing portions for another day. Hah! How's that for killing two birds with one stone?

Best of all, the holidays gave me time to catch up on some posts that are way, way overdue on my blog. Unfortunately some had to be discarded because the event was over and done with so long ago that it had lost much, if not all, of its oomph. 

But do you know what was the one thing that made this Raya break extra-special? There was some badminton championship being played out in Guangzhou and so, except for half-a-day that he spent in the office, Hubby the spent the whole Raya break with me at home. I am so happy to have him home with me even though it's badminton that got most of his attention. 

My 3rd Birthday Cake

...was extra-special because it was made with lovely, loving hands. It was also the first time that my 'Bee made a birthday cake for me. What a memorable moment!

Chocolate Cake with Mint Chocolate Glaze

See the beautiful cake and how beautifully she has decorated it? My 'Bee may be an amateur but her skill is definitely much better than those people at Secret Recipe, Straits Quay, who almost ruined my birthday cake last year. 

They sell cakes and they couldn't even pipe a proper message much less decorate the cake with flowers and leaves. How absurd is that? Is it any wonder that I no longer order my birthday cakes from them? 

But now that there is such a talented a cake decorator in our midst what I'll do is order my Macadamia White Chocolate Cake and get 'Bee to decorate it for me. What a great idea! 

Yoo hoo! I'm so looking forward to my favourite Macadamia White Chocolate Cake for next year's birthday party. 

Gor-nyior

I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that my Grandson loves his mommy very, very much. He cannot get enough of her, especially when bed-time comes around. That's when he will gor-nyior her. 

For the uninitiated, gor-nyior was a term used by my mom (she's Nyonya so I'm assuming that this word is peculiar to the Nyonyas) to describe the way a tired or sleepy child would clamber all over a trusted, significant adult and rub his face against the person. It is an unashamedly uninhibited and absolutely raw demonstration of the child's longing and great need for the love and security that only this one special person can provide. I cannot find an English word to describe this. 

Let me show you what it looks like. 

Aww, isn't that sweet? Grandson finds mommy absolutely mommy-licious and he simply cannot have enough of her.

In case you ask, you can only see the back of Grandson's head because we have to respect the parents' request not to post his photos on social networks. There are also no exifs here to trace where the photos were taken. 

Hmmm, is a blog considered social networking? Especially this half-dead and obscure little blog of mine. 

Birthday Party at Passage Thru' India on 5 August 2013

Recently Hubby and I have re-discovered a great place for Northern Indian food that is conveniently located at Hillside - very near to home which is a big plus when it comes to good food. 

It used to be called the Karaikudi Restaurant. My late mother-in-law used to frequent the place but somehow we didn't quite like the food then. Then lately, the name changed to Passage Thru' India. 

One night, quite by chance, we decided to give it another try. We ended up there because our original venue for dinner, Ingolf Kneipe, was full. Much to our delight we found the menu to be much improved and we loved the food there.

So the decision for a nice as well as a fresh, new place to hold my birthday dinner this year was an easy one. Where else but Passage Thru' India!

I don't know how people can be so mistaken as to think that we have invited them for banana leaf rice. I mean, come on, seriously, banana leaf rice? Anyway, I bet there was at least one sigh of relief that we weren't having banana leaf rice that night.

By the time dinner was served there were only praises all round for the food. And when dinner came to a close, there were numerous requests for their business cards. 

Clockwise from top left corner: Papadom and Mint Sauce, Tandoori Chicken;
Main picture showing Briyani Rice, Bendi Masala, Aloo Ghobi,
Butter Chicken Masala, Roghan Josh (Mutton), with Andhra Fish Curry
in the middle; and Kulfi. Hmmm, I seem to have missed out the drinks,
the Steamed Rice and the Naan. 

Oh, and let me also tell you about a terribly embarrassing episode for us. You see, I had already asked for a discount when we ordered the food which they said they cannot give us. So I suggested a free birthday cake instead or free kulfi (Indian ice cream). 

When we arrived the waiter told me that the management had agreed to complimentary kulfi. I was ecstatic with joy thinking that he meant complimentary kulfi for everyone but he actually meant that the complimentary kulfi was for me only! What kind of freebie is that! This is such poor PR and customer relationship skills. 

So after dinner the waiter (generously???) brought 3 kulfis. Baby Sis, Jewel and I dug in before they started to melt while the rest of the party waited for the rest of the kulfi...that never arrived. So paiseh man. I really think the management should have given us a good discount instead of the 3 miserable helpings of kulfi we got instead. 

Thank God, we came prepared with some sweet endings after dinner...expensive Belgian chocolates and a fruit-ilicious birthday cake. I hope that made up for the kulfi fiasco. 

We served the super-indulgent chocolates
that we received for our 30th wedding anniversary

The only picture of me cutting my second birthday cake this year. 
What a grainy picture! :(

So happy with my gift. Thank you Ken Rayians!
You made my wish come true.

That's all of us having fun inside...

...and, again, outside. Betul kau siao.

And since we are in a Northern Indian environment, Hubby and I couldn't resist indulging in some Bollywood romance. 

Do you like this? 

Or do you prefer this?

Or this?

I cannot decide so all three are here. 

Birthday Party at Kebaya on 2 August 2013

I must say a big " THANK YOU" to Baby Sis for planning such a lovely (and early) birthday party for me at Kebaya, 7 Terraces.

From left to right: Dr Peter "Dragon" Ong, Soo Fun, me, Baby Sis & Jewel

We were delighted to receive a complimentary bottle of red wine from Chris Ong, the proprietor. We think it's because we took the trouble to dress up in our kebayas to match the name of his restaurant, Kebaya.

Birthday girl enjoying her glass of wine

And the pianist was playing throughout dinner and so we had wine, women and song...what a combination!

Then came the food. For starters we had Ban Xeo and Otak-Otak in Puff Pastry.

I think that it was such a splendid idea to just bake the fish in pastry and serve it with the Otak-Otak sauce as accompaniment. The result was fantastic!

For the man meal we had rice served with (clockwise from top left) Sambal Goreng, Vegetable Tempura, Veal in Red Curry and Sashimi Grade Scallops Gado-Gado Style.

The veal was beautifully cooked to perfection and complimented with crunchy bamboo shoots. And the Gado-Gado was superb. These two were the specialty dishes for the night and we had no regrets opting for them over the regular dishes on the menu.

And for dessert we had (clockwise from left) Blue Tang Yuen, Gula Melaka Mousse and Passion Fruit Panna Cotta.

We stuck a candle on the Gula Melaka Mousse and, voila!, it was transformed into my birthday cake.

My first birthday cake this year. Isn't it pretty?

A photo before we sang "Happy birthday"

Another photo with Baby Sis and Jewel

At the end of dinner we has another surprise. A mysterious someone (dunno who) had already settled the bill. What a blessing! Thank you, Lord!

That's my first birthday party for this year. Looking forward to birthday party no. 2. 

Note: A special big THANK YOU to Soo Fun for the use of her photos. 

It Matters Whom You Marry

Every girl should read this. Sourced from http://thechristianpundit.org/2012/08/15/it/

My husband and I were once with a youth group. There were three kids sitting across from us at a meal: two guys and a girl. The one guy was a computer geek with glasses. The other one was a college student with slightly cooler hair and no glasses. The girl was obviously with him. But while the computer geek was busy serving everyone at the meal, clearing plates and garbage, the college student got angry with the girl for a small accident and poured red juice over her leather jacket and white shirt. She picked the wrong guy, and the juice didn’t seem to change her mind. She is in for some grief if that relationship continues and especially if it leads to marriage.

So to all the young, unmarried Christian girls out there, listen up: who you marry matters. You might think that the way he treats you isn’t so bad. It’s not going to get better after the wedding. You might think that he’ll change. It’s possible, but most don’t. You might think that you’ll be able to minister to him and help him. Possibly, but if you can’t now, you won’t then, and you will be at risk yourself. A husband should lead and cherish you, not need your counsel for basic personality or behavior issues.

Unless someone married is very frank with you, you can’t understand how much a husband will impact your entire life. Next to salvation there is no other long term event that will change so many areas of your life so deeply. Here are just some of the ways that marriage will impact every aspect of living. 

1. It will impact you spiritually. If the guy is not a believer, you can stop right there. You have no business yoking a redeemed soul with an unregenerate one, even if he seems open to change. Christ has bought you with a price and it is not an option to give away that blood bought heart to someone who doesn’t know and love your Lord. It will cripple your spiritual development, open up a host of temptations, stifle your prayer life, make regular church going difficult, and cause massive parenting conflict if you have children. 

If the guy is a believer, is he a strong one? Will he lead you in prayer, Bible reading, family devotions, and public worship? Or will you be on your own? Is he going to make spiritual growth a priority or do other things come first? Is he going to ask you how it’s going with your soul so he can help you grow in holiness and love for Christ, or will he leave that to your pastor? Is he going to lead the children in this, or will you have to spearhead that? In church, is he going to help the kids sit well, pray, find the hymn, or will you be the one pointing out what is happening next and helping the family keep up? Many women have married spiritually immature men, thinking that it wasn’t a big issue, or that the man would change, and they were wrong. They bear the scars. 

The health of your eternity is at stake. Think carefully. 

2. It will impact you emotionally. Is the guy you’re thinking of going to encourage you, love you, be kind to you, and seek to understand you, or will he want to go out with the guys when you’re having a hard night? Will he listen when you are struggling with something or will he be preoccupied with a video game? Is he going to be annoyed when you cry or will he get you Kleenex and give you a hug? Is he going to going to understand that you are probably more tender than he is, more sensitive to issues and comments, or is he regularly going to run rough shod over your feelings? One woman was struggling to breastfeed her new baby, believing that that was the best thing for her, but it was very difficult. Instead of giving support and encouragement, the husband would make mooing sounds whenever he saw his wife working at it. We have to get rid of princess complexes, but we do have emotional needs. Any guy who is uncaring about your feelings and self esteem is selfish and should be left alone. 

Be careful – a husband can cripple or foster emotional health. 

3. It will impact you physically. Is the guy you’re with going to provide for your basic needs? Will he be able to shelter, clothe and feed you? At one point in our marriage, I was worried that there was no employment opportunity. My husband assured me that he would work at McDonalds, dig ditches, clean up roadkill – whatever it took to provide for the family, regardless of his gifts and training. That’s the kind of attitude you want. A man who doesn’t provide for his household is worse than an infidel (I Tim. 5:8). You might have to help ease the financial burden, but unless your husband is disabled or there is another unusual circumstance, you shouldn’t have to carry it yourself. 

Will the man you are with care for your body or abuse it? If he gives you little smacks, kicks, etc. when you’re dating, get away. It’s almost guaranteed that he will abuse you after marriage, and stats show that’s especially true when you are pregnant. Is he going to care for and protect your body or will he hurt it? There are women in churches across America who thought it was no big deal to have little (sort of friendly) punches or slaps from their boyfriends, but who are covering up the bruises from their husbands. 

Will the man you are with care for you sexually? Is he going to honour the marriage bed in physical and mental faithfulness to you or will he flirt, feed his porn addiction, or even leave you for another woman? You can’t always predict these issues, but if the seeds or practices are already there, watch out. I recently saw a newly married couple and the husband was flirting openly with another woman. Unless something drastic happens, that marriage is headed for disaster. 

Is he going to be tender and gentle to you in bed? An unbelieving co-worker once told my sister that after her first sexual encounter, she had trouble walking for a few days because her boyfriend was so rough. In other words, he wasn’t selfless enough to care for the body of the woman he said he loved. 

Watch out. Your body needs care and protection. 

4. It will impact you mentally. Is the man that you’re thinking of going to be a source of worry or will he help you deal with your worries? Is he going to encourage your intellectual development, or will he neglect it? Is he going to value your opinions and listen to what you are thinking, or will he disregard your thoughts? Is he going to help you manage stress so that your mind is not burdened that way, or is he going to let you struggle through issues alone? Is he going to care for you and be thoughtful of you if you are experiencing mental strain, or will he ignore it? I know of a woman who could handle pregnancy and child birth very well physically but postpartum depression took a huge toll on her mind. The husband overlooked it, continuing to have more children, until his wife ended up in a mental institution. 

You might think that the intellectual or mental side of a marriage is small. It’s bigger than you think. Consider it seriously. 

5. It will impact you relationally. How’s your relationship with your mother? Your dad? Do you love them? Does your boyfriend? Fast forward ten years: you tell your husband that your mother is coming for the weekend. Is he excited? Disappointed? Angry? Making snide jokes with his friends? Of course, a husband should come first in your priority of relationships, as you both leave father and mother and cleave to one another. But parents are still a big part of the picture. Whatever negative feelings he has about your parents now will probably be amplified after marriage. Your marriage will either strengthen or damage – even destroy – your relationship with your parents. The people who know you best and love you most right now could be cut out of the picture by a husband who hates them. 

It’s the same with sisters and friends. Will they be welcomed, at reasonable times, in your home? Will the guy who you’re with encourage healthy relationships with other women, or will he be jealous of normal, biblical friendships? Will he help you mentor younger women and be thankful when older women mentor you, or will he belittle that?
Don’t sacrifice many good relationships for the sake of one guy who can’t value the people who love you. 

So how will your boyfriend do after the vows? Because this is just a sampling of the ways that a husband can bless or curse his wife. The effects are far reaching, long lasting, and either wonderful or difficult. True, there are no perfect men out there. But there are great ones. And it’s better to be single for life than to marry someone who will make your life a burden. Singleness can be great. Marriage to the wrong person is a nightmare. I’ve been in a church parking lot where the pastor had to call the police to protect a wife from a husband who was trying to stop her from worshiping and being with her family. It’s ugly. Don’t be so desperate to get married that your marriage is a grief. If you are in an unhappy marriage, there are ways to get help. But if you’re not married, don’t put yourself in that situation. Don’t marry someone whose leadership you can’t follow. Don’t marry someone who is not seeking to love you as Christ loved the church. Marry someone who knows and demonstrates the love of Christ.