Monday, May 19, 2008

Words Women Use

The person who came up with this must either be a woman
who wants to educate men on the fine art of understanding 'woman talk'
or a guy who has learned it the hard way.

I think it is the latter.

1) FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are
right and you need to shut up.

2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour.
If you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house, it means two seconds.

3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something,
and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "Nothing" usually end in "Fine."

4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement
often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about "Nothing" (see #3).

6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman
can make to a man. "That's okay" means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you. Do not question, make sarcastic
remarks or faint. Just say you're welcome.

8) Whatever: A woman's way of saying "Drop dead!"

9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement,
meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?". See #3.

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