Thursday, April 4, 2013

Long Road to Recovery

It has been exactly one month since I lost my voice on 4 March 2013. 

It all started out with me succumbing to a very bad cough and flu on the Monday prior to that Sunday. I was recovering but then had a relapse. On the afternoon of that Sunday I completely lost my voice – no sound at all – and did not recover it until three days later. 

When my voice returned it was not the same anymore. At first I could only speak in a hoarse whisper which I thought would improve but it didn't, at least, not as fast as I would like it to. To make things worse my voice would come and go like a bad radio signal!

The worst thing is not being able to sing. I don't feel like I am worshiping God when I cannot sing my praises to Him. Last Sunday I could sing a bit but I still could not sing most of the songs because I can only reach the lower register. My voice disappears when I change to a higher register. The higher register has proven to be very elusive and I fear that I may never sing again. 

Not only can I not sing, I also cannot talk for too long and I cannot pray for people without my throat being irritated. 

I am very appreciative of wonderful friends, one who boiled and delivered sook tay soup for me and another friend's mom who prepared honey with lime for me. I took Chinese herbs to "open the voice" including a drink that contains bees! But all to no avail. My voice was and is still rough and gruff. 

What am I going to do? What am I going to do? I am in despair. Are my vocal cords permanently damaged? Am I going to sound like a grumpy bear for the rest of my life? "sob, sob"

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