Mini Roadside Floral Fest

This morning Lillian and I were on our way to breakfast when we chanced upon a mini floral fest outside one of the houses at Bangkok Lane.

They were such lovely blooms that we whipped our iPhones and immediately started snapping photos. 

Nyonyas At Yeng Keng Cafe

Yesterday, Lillian and I were invited to do demonstrate the craft of beadwork on kasut manek at a photo shoot for the Ministry of Tourism. We participated for the fun of it without expecting any payment so we were overjoyed when we received RM100 each as compensation for the whole session. And we were only doing something we enjoyed.

After the photography we decided to treat ourselves to Padang Brown popiah but, for some reason, the whole hawker complex was closed that evening. So there we were, two nyonyas gallivanting all over town looking for some place nice to have our tea.

Eventually we decided to go to Yeng Keng Cafe where we shared two choon pneah or spring rolls and a plate of Hainan mee. The choon pneah was kinda disappointing but the Hainan mee was yummy. 

Clockwise from Top Left Hand Corner: The two nyonyas, butter cake and Illy coffee for dessert, choon pneah, flower deco and Hainan mee

After tea, we yielded to temptation and ordered a slice of butter cake and two Illy latte. As we were tucking into the sweet ending for our meal, we saw Lillian's boss coming into the restaurant with three of his workers. To our delight, he offered to pick up the tab!

We left soon after that and I told Lillian that he would be in for a shock when the bill comes. There were no traces of the savoury dishes we had earlier on the table. Not expecting such big appetites from nyonyas, he probably thought that all we had for tea was just the cake and coffee.

Anyway, we had a good meal and without spending a sen of the money we had just earned. God is indeed very good.

Fun Pic

I love this picture of us having fun at the instant photo booth at JJ's wedding dinner in Singapore.

Happiness Takes Two

Here's something for couples to think about.

The following is an article located at: http://www.kyria.com/topics/marriagefamily/marriage/healthhome/happinesstakes.html

"Will I never find a job?" I screamed into the empty air of our apartment. Sinking into a pity party, I bemoaned the money, time, and energy spent obtaining my degrees. No one wanted a new hire with no professional work experience, who was overqualified with education.

Still, I couldn't cry for long. There were other goals to pursue—I needed to prepare dinner for Dan, my new husband, since it was our three-month anniversary. At least he had a job to support us. Praise God I didn't have to worry about rent, food, or electric bills.

Cookbooks spread across the table, I lost myself in recipes. Far from a chef, maybe I could find something simple enough. At least I'd achieve a goal!

Lost in creative cooking, I didn't hear Dan return home. He entered the kitchen, took a big sniff, then asked, "Are you happy?"

As his finger snuck into the meat sauce, I playfully slapped his hand, but replied in my professional voice, "I can't think about happiness now. I'm focused on the goal of creating an exquisite meal for you, my wonderful husband. Today's our three-month anniversary." But then tears crept into my eyes, and my voice cracked as I said, "I feel totally useless being unemployed, so I'm focusing on a nice dinner."

"I appreciate your focus." Dan smiled, put his hands on my shoulders, and turned me to face him, giving me a heartfelt hug.

As I placed French bread in the oven, I reexamined Dan's question about happiness. Didn't he know I was unhappy because of my failing job search? Why ask if I'm happy when he knew my career goals sat in ashes?

"Actually," I admitted, "since you asked. No, I'm not happy. I can't find a job. When I think there's a fit for my skills, I'm told I'm overqualified. I hate that word!"

 

I'm Not Happy if You're Not Happy

 

During dinner, while buttering his bread, Dan shared, "At work today Norm said he and his wife retreat yearly to discuss their goals, plans, wishes, and wants. They call it their 'happiness check.' That's why I asked if you were happy. Other than not finding a job, I'd hoped you were."

"Your happiness is partly based upon my happiness, right?" I said, reminded of the Scripture, "A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one" (Ephesians 5:31).

Dan nodded.

Affirmed, I continued, "Doesn't happiness come when you've achieved your goals? You should work at goals, not happiness."

"According to Norm, we create our happiness," Dan responded. "I don't know. What works for them might not work for us." Dan pushed back from the table. "Your focus on a dinner goal sure worked tonight! It was great! I'm happy you're my wife."

"Thanks, I'm glad dinner was good and I'm happy you're my husband. However, I've never thought about happiness separate from achieving my goals. I need to ponder that."

 

 Moving from My Goals to Our Goals

 

The longer I looked for a job, the more I sank into a funk. Dan tried to help by suggesting we look for a house. I brightened. It was a different, new goal to pursue. Could a house make me happy? We searched neighborhoods close to our new church and found a house for sale.

I wanted a house, but I really wanted a job. I just wanted God to answer my prayers for a job like he'd done for a house.

 

Then came The Phone Call.

"Jan, the university loved your résumé. There are opportunities for someone with your qualifications. Would you be willing to move?"

Remaining professional, in spite of my excitement, I replied, "I'm certainly open to the possibility."

My knees were shaking when I got off the phone. Finally a potential real job. But 100 miles away. Oh no, what about the house and our new church? What does God want for us?

"What do you think of me finally having a job?" I broached when Dan returned home from work, explaining that it was 100 miles away.

Dan graciously said, "It would mean scrapping our house purchase. We haven't closed, so we don't actually own the house yet. I'd have to quit my job and get another, but, yes, I'd consider the move. Would it make you happy and do you believe this is God's answer to your prayers for a job?"

I watched my husband drink his tea. "Wait!" I shouted, my mind jumping from thought to thought. "I've wanted a job more than almost anything, yet you'd leave your job for me to find one somewhere else? Because that would make us both happy? You've achieved your professional goal, but you aren't happy because I'm not happy …"

I realized a happiness check included us both because we're "one flesh."

"But would moving and getting new jobs elsewhere be what God wants for us? The house we're about to close on is close to our new church. Would moving defy what God wants? Or is moving to another location an answer to prayer?" The more I talked, the more confused I became.

Dan laughed at my word flurry. "Let's take one step at a time," he advised.

We discussed our goals, dreams, future, and God's calling on our lives long into the night.

 

 Making Goals Together

 

Goals, simply discussed and recorded, gave us direction and focus. I turned down the job opportunity, and we stayed in this new city. God blessed me with a good job two weeks after we moved into our home.

Conducting a yearly happiness check has helped us grow closer during our 32 years of marriage. We've shared joys and sorrows as we've communicated about goals both reached and unreached. Sometimes we've retired an unreachable goal, which can be hard.

Several times our making goals together guided us through a major move; other times it's helped us make small corrections, such as deciding on a book to read together or changing the Bible translation we study. We've enjoyed sharing this concept with friends and family as Norm shared it with us.

 

Jan Lazo-Davis is a freelance writer from Leawood, Kansas. Thanks to Norm Bruvold for the concept of a "happiness check." Jan and Dan have been married 32 years. www.secondstar.us

 

 How to make goals together

 

Before you start: Ask God for gentle revelations, discernment, and wisdom. "Get the truth and never sell it; also get wisdom, discipline, and good judgment" (Proverbs 23:23).
Preparation: Separately, create topics to discuss, prioritize them, and record them. See which topics are on both lists; these should be discussed first. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take" (Proverbs 3:5-6). "I will teach you wisdom's ways and lead you in straight paths" (Proverbs 4:11).
Location and Timing: Find a quiet location where you can retreat for three hours or many days, depending on your perceived need. Starting small allowed us to understand how it worked for us. We increased the time of the retreat once we were comfortable with our format.

 

Tips & Suggestions:

 

Be honest with one another. Also be loving, kind, gentle, and humble as you delve deep into your relationship and your life desires. "We will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church" (Ephesians 4:15).
Be willing to share leadership.
Be talkative, enjoy one another, set aside daily cares. Sprinkle your talk with "I love you."
Be flexible—you each have different ways of approaching life and agenda items.
Set goals, record them with a date, ponder them, pray over them together and separately. "Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you" (Psalm 37:5).
Remember, this is not a vacation, but an intentional getting to know one another better. The purpose is to understand each other better and to mutually set goals so you intentionally walk your life-path together as friends and lovers, husband and wife, partners in life. "You have shown me the way of life, and you will fill me with the joy of your presence" (Acts 2:28).

 

Suggested questions to discuss:

 

- Are we happy? If no, why? If yes, why?
- Are we satisfied with our current jobs?
- Do we like where we are living?
- Do we spend enough time together?
- Do we spend our money well, or are we wasting money on purchases which will not honor our relationship?
- Are we laughing enough? If no, how can we bring more laughter into our lives?
- Do we like the friends we spend time with? If no, how can we meet new people?
- What activities are we involved with? Do we like them or do we need to seek out new opportunities?
- What is one wild thing I have always wanted to do, and never have done? Would you like to do this with me?
- Children—When do we want to start having children? Or are we in agreement on how we're raising our children? How might we work better as a team?

Lilies A-Bloom

My lilies, an Easter gift from Hubby, are blooming! And they are such beauties.

The picture on the left shows the first bloom with the rest behind. The picture on the right shows the second bloom that greeted us this morning.

What a wonderful way to start the day!

Help For The Helpless

I hate the sense of helplessness that overwhelms me when I see a loved one suffering and there is nothing I can do to bring some comfort or relief to the situation because circumstances are beyond my control and, in some cases, helping may even make matters worse.

That's the most probable, although unconscious, motivation for me to purchase a starving, skin-and-bones Mandarin fish today.

The least we could do was to rescue her from the terrible state she was in and give her a fighting chance to survive. And if she does survive, we would have saved a life.

The Giver & Her Gifts

Baby Sis is back from her gastronomic and high society foray in Perth.

When I saw her pictures I could not believe that that wonderful place she visited was brown, barren Perth.

As always she came back bearing some interesting gifts: a box of chocolates for Kenny, lavender hand care duo gift set for me and a bar of handmade lychee soap for 'bee.

There's also a bottle of cold pressed extra-virgin olive oil from one of the Beverley farms she visited and a jar of dukkah (a mixture of roasted spices, sesame seeds and almonds) for us. We're supposed to enjoy the last two items with the best bread we can find. Interesting!